Bighouse detainee, Loomis, successfully scaled the wall of the Bighouse courtyard yesterday afternoon and escaped. He avoided capture by prison officials and was on the run for approximately an hour before actually breaking back into the prison. It appears life on the outside was not what he expected. He returned, without his collar, and with a debilitating case of the gag’n'drools. Since Loomis has a history of “sampling” things that his salivary glands find objectionable (without resulting in permanent damage, at least for the cat), we kept him under observation. After several hours, his condition had not improved, and it was quite apparent he was suffering a good deal of discomfort.
The prisoner was transported to the veterinary clinic where he received a thorough examination. The examination revealed no physical damage and overall good health, but it did discover some suspect bowel contents (unsurprising for a prisoner with “Willful destruction of flip-flops” on his rap sheet). The prisoner received a couple of injections to help ease his discomfort, and was discharged with orders for continued observation. As of today, he appears to be feeling somewhat better, but will remain under close supervision.
We will keep everyone updated on his condition. In the meantime, although we hate he’s feeling poorly, we are enjoying the *silence* around here resulting from Loomis’ newfound, appreciation for staying indoors.
Poor pitiful Loomis. I guess the grass wasn’t greener…hey, maybe he ate that, too.
I think you should make him a song…and maybe base it on the Cure’s Lovecats…and maybe call it LOLCats…
Poor Loomis! He learned that the inedibles outside the prison walls are worse than the inedibles INSIDE the prison.
How is he working off the vet bills? Stamping out name tags?
Haha. Yes. He’ll be stamping out a LOT of name tags, starting with his own.
And, as an update, although he’s not 100% yet, he is feeling well enough to begin some of his usual habits, such as scratching the scratching post, glaring around angrily (as opposed to looking horribly sad) and, of course, mewing *incessantly* at the door to go back out. Too bad whatever this problem was didn’t damage his voice box a bit more.
Poor Loomis? Poor LOOMIS? Wait, the guy escapes, eats something truly nasty (but probably enjoying every minute.. meanwhile the guards and the warden are frantic, time was lost in search of or worrying about (meanwhile Loomis, scared or not, is NOT worrying about the warden or the guards) .. THEN after returning on his own, collarless, he drools all over the house, requiring the warden (and guard?) to lose time and $$$ rushing said prisoner to the vet and buying meds… Poor Loomis indeed! I say, Poor Warden! Poor Guard!!
Agreed. Of course, I must confess, nobody was *that* worried while he was gone. Just irritated. He always comes back. However, you did not not mention the countless drool spots on the rug (they started out green, ended up cat-food-colored), which will need to be cleaned. This, coupled with his new found obnoxiousness, more than justifies your position of “Poor Warden. Poor Guard.”